This book that changed my life and revolutionized the way I look at my body.
The Discovery
I discovered Reclaiming Body Trust, by Hilary Kinavey and Dana Sturtevant, when someone sent the link to the Center for Body Trust website to me. It was during the dark portion of one of my usual cycles of shame and self-disgust. After watching me go through this cycle several times, a persistent and supportive friend felt I would really resonate with what these ladies had to say. It still took me awhile to finally click on that link and read what they’re about, but once I did, my whole world began to shift.
Hilary is a licensed therapist and Dana is a registered nutritionist, but they don’t give you the same speeches that you’ve been hearing all your life.
You know, the talks you could pretty much give to yourself at this point because you’ve heard them so many times? That’s not what they’re about. In fact, they view this as harmful!
They’re about throwing away the scales, the diets, the calorie counters and step counters and fitness apps, and trusting that your body knows exactly what it’s doing.
The Revolution
This goes directly in the face of what society and modern medicine are shoving in our faces, but when has what society and modern medicine worked for me? For you? Even if it does for a short period of time, it fails in the long run.
The Real Reasons
The point these ladies are making is that your body is reacting to something else much deeper than calories and exercise. Maybe it’s trauma. Maybe it’s cultural pressure. Maybe it’s anxiety or emotional dysregulation, or perfectionism or body dissatisfaction. Maybe it’s a combination of these or something else I haven’t mentioned, or that you are not even yet aware of. If you don’t address the root of the issue, the issue will not be resolved.
This book gives you permission to love yourself exactly as you are. It encourages you to recognize that the size and shape of our body are symptoms of what is going on inside our bodies and minds. That is where the work needs to be done. And the first step is accepting yourself exactly as you are. Easier said than done, I know. It’s a process.
The Message
Reject diet culture anywhere you see it around you. You don’t have to be part of it just because it’s around you.
Thank your body for showing up for you every day of your life, ensuring that you have survived everything in your life up to this moment. When you think about it, your body has done an incredible amount for you. It doesn’t deserve to be shamed for that and you don’t need to be embarrassed by it.
Hey, body? Are you listening? Thank you for helping me survive every day of shit and abuse and trauma I have lived. Thank you for being there for me. I literally couldn’t have done it without you.
That is the fundamental message I got from this book. It is broken into three parts: the Rupture, the Reckoning, and the Reclamation.
The Rupture
The first part of the book gives the reader the chance to get to know their own story. To understand the evolving relationship with their body, their truth, and the expectations, both external and internal, placed upon them.
The Reckoning
The second part of the book guides the reader through the very personal and emotional journey of honesty. You will cry, laugh, rage, love, question, answer, and in the end you will be exhausted. But you will be authentically you and ready to enter the last phase.
The Reclamation
The third part of the book is where you find yourself, that sassy bitch who will never be quieted again. The one with the audacity to say yes when everyone else says no, the courage to jump when everyone else cowers, and the wisdom to understand what is right for you.
The Rest of It
Can you really get all of this from a book? I didn’t. The book was a springboard. I attended one of their retreats and met Hilary and Dana. I met a community of people and we had a shared experience. That was only the beginning of a long journey for me. But without this book, I would never have started the journey.
If you’re interested in this book yourself, you can find it on their website, or on lots of other websites, and I don’t benefit in any way if you click or purchase anything. I share my experience because it impacted me so much. If you do visit CenterforBodyTrust.com, you will find lots of other information in addition to their book.
If you feel called to this journey, please join my community. Those of us on this journey need all the support we can get, especially from each other.
We’re going to find our light, and never dim it for anyone. Who’s with me?
